Month: November 2013

mydriasis

short of breath she listens to words rolling from my lips without a pause as I discover the unexplored river of her veins with cold hands don’t do this stop but continue please yes she shivers as I carry her away with foreign words to frightening heights and unknown lands of rapture and bliss stop talking the world spins your hands and in a moment of wild force she turns around nude and looks at me with an expression of

mydriasis

Thank you to Yasemin of we.love.repeat for being the seductive female voice.

Rollercoaster of emotions

My eyes are closed and the wind howls as I ride on the roller coaster of emotions. It rattles upwards with ambition and joy of life and I stretch my hand to touch the sky when it reaches its highest point. I dream of the endless horizon of possibilities and open my eyes in expected delight, yet startle at how high I am. Gone are all ambitions when the rollercoaster plunges down with frightening speed and I can only think of survival. At its lowest point, when failure seems unavoidable, the roller coaster swooshes up again. I ride to an exciting high.

The roller coaster of emotions is a curious machine of life. As with many things in life, it has a cycle. High – low – high – low. How high your high is, or how deep your low is, will depend on your roller coaster. Yet you cannot avoid the cycle. Do not follow the implicitly obligatory rule of happiness in today’s society, where you have to be doing “good” or where you have to smile on photographs. Ironically, people feel bad for not feeling happy because of this. Instead of feigning happiness, learn to embrace the roller coaster and cherish it. Acceptance leads to understanding and probably even to a longer and higher high. So feel unhappy every once in a while. Feel frustrated, feel afraid, feel happy, kiss, shout, smile, cry, love, live. You might not be easiest person to live with, but at least the ride will be exhilarating.

PT

TimePitiful are our attempts to control Time and imprison it with metric time. The shackles of minutes, hours and days give the human mind the morphine of control and order, yet it cannot be denied that Time hardly cares about its shackles and flees or crawls away whenever it sees fit. This is the Perception of Time (PT), and it differs between individuals. What variables control this perception? When I was a track and field athlete, I sometimes thought I saw everything move slightly slower than other people, as if I watched the world in slow motion. There must be some truth to this feeling. My PT changes with cities as well, leading me to think cities influence PT as well. 

London, for instance, quickens my PT considerably. This city makes me sleep less and live more. It moves at a relentless pace (or rather makes my PT move at a relentless pace), where people rush through metro’s and glance at their watch, as if to urge their PT to go even faster. This pace is contagious, and I find myself often racing from place to place as well. This can wreck your mind if you do not find a way to slow down. Luckily, I have found my personal antidote: reading.

The great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. (Emerson)

And indeed, words calm my mind & puts it in a different place. It soothes and slows PT, the necessary pause where I love, cry, float, drift.

With this, I can live London to the fullest. And I do. One of the projects I am engaged in is Movember. Starting from today, I will not shave my moustache for the entire month of November and will gather people to fund my moustache. The entire school is involved in it and we have many MoBro’s that will make the sacrifice, with MoSista’s to support us. All the funds we raise go into research on testicular and prostate cancer, as well as on mental health issues. Anyone that wants to fund my moustache can do so on this site. Fund my Mo and change the face of men’s health.